I am a hundred
percent sure that you won’t understand how I feel, even if I keep explaining
for a thousand years .I am a Yemeni writer
and you are a reader. When you read what I write you will not be able to figure
out what I exactly mean. You might sympathize, but you won’t understand how it
feels. Not because my writing is
difficult or symbolic, but simply because you are not me.
I am from the world of weapons and you are from the world of
walking angels and pigeons of peace. It
is sad. We are both human beings and deserve to live equally free , however ,look
at those wings of yours and look at my
wrist surrounded with handcuffs, painted green. I am from the world of death and bloodshed and
you are from the world of ambition , justice , human rights and everywhere you
go is in order and clean.
That’s why you won’t understand me , because “ you” are not “
me”.
I am a writer from Yemen. Ask your heart to listen and your
heart to read. I am stuck in this damn corner. I am a woman , not a spider nor
a bee. Can’t you see?
I didn’t choose to be pessimistic, I didn’t select being
negative. It is our environment that applies all its failures and pessimism on
our faces and how sad they seem. Believe me , I’d love to be a happy person who
is secure ,after building a shelter. A person ,who uses after making
tools, things and machines . A person who complains , protests with absolutely
no fear. I want to be a civilized citizen, I request to be respected. I demand
health, education and a well- being. Do you understand me? Did you hear what I
hear? While writing these lines I hear an explosion , my door is knocked, the
gang is searching for a new victim .We are people who are attacked from sky and
land! I pray God , not me, not me. For
me freedom is a luxury. Can you imagine how painful that is to me?
How can I be the way I want to be when the situation is the
way it is?
What can I do? Tell me. Advise me. Insane people in my
country are fighting. Each group wants to rule. People are becoming hungry
skeletons, people worn out and fed up like me. It is sad. These fighting
criminals force people to be on their
side. They force people to bow and kneel. Excuse me , I am not doing that. No,
no, no , not me.
I yell for help, I shiver of winter and hunger . I cover my
face , disliking to be seen. Did you hear me weep? I am crying because the two
groups are fighting for their personal advantages. They are killing us and
wounding us too ….Leave us alone you criminals , we want to smile, raise our foreheads
, and heal.